Porn is both a stealthy, secretive monster and an in-your-face enemy. Inevitably porn attacks and affects all of us in some way. We believe porn ruins lives — and we’ve witnessed the devastation over and over again. It’s so painful to hear the personal stories. But why is the painful side of porn use being glossed over and covered up?
Gail Dines, Ph.D., founder of Culture Reframed, lectures worldwide about pornography.
She notes that when she begins her lectures, she sees some of the men in the audience bristling.
But that’s understandable, Dines notes, because they’re thinking, “What does this middle-aged feminist know about MY life and pornography?”
As she talks, though, something rather dramatic and telling occurs. Men lean in, listen, and then line up afterwards, often begging for help to quit pornography. Why? Because nobody has ever explained to them what pornography is doing to them. As she puts it, porn has created a “stealth public health crisis”.
Here’s five reasons why we think you should care about this public health crisis, too. Even though porn ruins lives, change is possible. Let’s be aware of how porn damages people, and pursue a road to healing and recovery.
Table of Contents
1. Mental and Emotional Health Is Damaged By Porn
From poor body image to social anxiety, to depression and inability to focus, many studies are now available that document the emotional and mental health harms of regular porn use.
Psychology Today cites a French study that reached this conclusion: “Men who engage in online sexual activities for temporary emotional escape are significantly more likely to experience related negative consequences.”
So in this way pornography often serves as an avenue to self-medicate against depression according to Very Well Mind’s recent article. “A lack of learned practices to deal with pain and discomfort is something that Capparucci believes is a major issue for people that struggle with porn…”
In short, porn ruins lives by stunting personal growth and potential.
Like one anonymous customer shared, “I was caught in pornography for many years and while I knew that I disliked the compulsive behavior, I wasn’t sure how to end it.”
On the flip side, personal growth begins when we are willing to acknowledge pain points in our lives. When we start addressing our inner wounds like trauma or sexual abuse, we are free to begin a journey of healing and growth in our personal lives.
According to The MindFool.com, “Emotional Healing is the ability to take control of painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions so that they do not interfere with your present moments.”
2. Porn Ruins Lives By Damaging Relationships
Unfortunately both data and “consumer” experience confirm that porn ruins lives by harming marriages, leading to a higher percentage of divorce. Busy schedules, the needs of children, and work demands already create challenges for intimacy in marriage. Add the easy access and “quick fix” of porn to the mix. Porn is an expert intimacy thief!
Chris, a long-time customer talks about porn versus intimacy in marriage, “Here’s the big thing. You think, ‘I’ve got a problem, but one day when I get married, it’s going to go away.’ However, intimacy in marriage may not always involve sex when you want it. With your real life spouse, issues will come up. In porn you choose every scenario and make it whatever you want it to be, never considering the consequences. In real life, there are ups and downs. We must learn to live and roll with them, but the end game always makes us better, healthier, and happier.”
The isolation from problematic porn use quickly ripples out to affect children and friendships. Children feel ignored and neglected. Friends fade into the distance. Worst of all, you are no longer intimate with your spouse.
More than one person has reported that what initially started out as an off and on habit escalated over time. Before even realizing it, hours pass glued to the screen away from real human interaction.
3. Productivity In the Workplace is Affected By Porn
Here’s another way porn could ruin your life personally. First, do you know what might happen if you’re caught watching porn at work? What is your company’s policy? Employees have been fired for this type of infraction.
Next, when a porn habit becomes compulsive, it’s been known to lure normally productive, conscientious employees into viewing porn at the workplace. In fact, about 28% of all employees engage in illicit online activity at work, according to Webroot
“Thus, if 37 million employees are viewing the average amount of pornography cited by the Nielsen Company, the annual productivity loss to companies is a staggering $16.9 Billion dollars.”
In contrast, deep work and sheer creativity is only possible when your brain is clear and your mind is sharp.
4. Synthetic Sex Is Ruining the Real Experience
When life — and sex — starts feeling flat and dull after a long-term porn habit, there’s a physical reason. Your brain has been trained to seek out repeated synthetic highs. Endless screenfuls of novelty fuel excessive dopamine highs.
Eventually “brain ruts” form wide neural pathways. Some folks begin to crave more and more porn, turning into problematic porn use (PPU).
Over time, the brain of someone who struggles with problematic porn use is not wired to enjoy natural pleasures of normal, healthy sex. Studies show that Millennials are having way less sex than average — with a nod to porn use as a factor.
5. The Next Generation Is Being Radically Harmed By Porn
Sadly, an often overlooked way that porn ruins lives is the many effects porn has on our future generations. World-wide, our children are turning to porn to learn about sex. Billie Eilish’s story of being hooked early by porn is not the exception, sadly.
Porn is a terrible, lying sex-ed teacher.
What kids see in porn, they try to mimic in real life. Porn ruins lives because it is a violent, but magnetic and intoxicating educator. Children lack the maturity to realize that porn is giving them a twisted, totally unrealistic expectations for sex.
Let’s get very basic here. First, no child should be having sex. But that’s not the message they’re getting from social media. Though apps might try to keep up with blocking porn, plenty of porn-like material is very easily accessible.
Next, kids shouldn’t feel pressured to have sex by peers or porn. But that is exactly what is happening on a regular basis.
In fact, one Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) nurse specializing in sexual trauma says the number of children sexually assaulting other children has grown phenomenally in the past few years due mostly to what kids see in porn. And almost no one is speaking out about this!
Worst of all, very few programs are even available to help these young perpetrators recover from unwanted sexual behaviors. These porn-induced behaviors in children devastate a young life, an entire family, and everyone in their circle of friends and family.
Please believe this — porn ruins young lives!
Unfortunately, due to the high volume of sexual violence portrayed in porn, many believe that porn is fueling a toxic masculinity and rape culture, especially on college campuses. Teen boys are the most significant offenders. Under the influence of porn, they fail to understand and respect consent, according to a recent study.
Human sex trafficking preys on underage victims
And we can definitively say that porn is fueling the human trafficking epidemic. Those who work with victims of sex trafficking have a growing pile of smoldering evidence against the porn industry. Many underage victims have been filmed against their will — and they’re speaking out!
So are former porn stars who end up filming styles of porn they never even signed up for — lured by money and fame. Instead, porn stars tell stories of mental health issues and suicidal depression.
In extreme cases, porn can fuel violent crime.
When we talk about how porn ruins lives, serial killer Ted Bundy might be the ultimate example of the absolute wreckage that porn can bring to a life. While a Rolling Stone article mocks Bundy’s final personal interview with James Dobson, links between heavy pornography consumption and criminal violence are legitimate though rare.
The porn connection appears in stories like that of the kidnapper of Elizabeth Smart, and other sexual criminals, and more recently, in the Atlanta massage parlor shootings.
To be super clear — we know that’s NOT you. You’re here reading this because you care about how porn ruins lives.
Quitting Porn Rebuilds Hope For Future Generations
Should you quit porn, even if you only view it once in a while? Maybe the better question is this. Why contribute any further to the different ways porn ruins lives? Instead, you can contribute to hope-filled change.
In fact, many of our wonderful customers are serious about being world-changers. Quitting porn to rebuild trust in relationships motivates some. Others simply want to live full, beautiful, and worthwhile lives. They wish to leave the world a better place for future generations.
So what kind of world-changer do you want to become? For some inspiration, check out our post on becoming a radical person of integrity.
What are your best, brightest dreams for your life and legacy? We’d love to hear from you. You can reach out to us here: marketing@everaccountable.com
