If you’re struggling with how to stop watching porn, it’s worth noting that you’ve been specifically targeted by a huge industry with very deep pockets.
Did you know that many popular porn sites are part of a mega, privately held parent company named Aylo worth billions — or more — (formerly called MindGeek)? That knowledge alone might motivate you to take action.
However, to help you out, here’s 10 success tips for how to stop watching porn.
1. Know your enemy — because porn knows you.
It’s beyond frustrating that the porn industry is actively watching you through lots of streaming data that they continually collect including:
- the days of the week you view porn
- your dates of viewing
- your zip code
- your pause/rewind/fast forward behavior
- your view times
Just like customers of Netflix, Apple, and Spotify, you’re being tracked and targeted as you search and use porn online. The technical term for this is data-driven creativity.
Even if you’re desperate to quit porn, the mega porn industry knows the places you’ll visit online and how to best reach you in your hour of temptation.
Make no mistake! You have a flaming bullseye on your back when it comes to the porn industry. We all do.
2. Recognize that porn harms you mentally and emotionally.
Are you overcome by feelings of shame over your porn habit?
Do you feel lonely and worthless? These miserable feelings are common among porn users.
Whether you’re a NBA basketball star like Lamar Odom or a young woman like Rachael, admitting that porn is harming you is an important first step toward porn recovery.
If you’re struggling with a compulsive porn habit, your brain is currently being rewired by porn.
In order to understand how to stop watching porn, you need to know how porn may actually affect your brain over time. (Check out blogs where we explain how overdoses of dopamine may create a sense of addiction to porn and struggles with porn withdrawal.)
Learn how to quit porn, because porn abuses other people, too.
You may feel this deep down inside already. As you educate yourself, you begin to understand that porn destroys the lives of many young women caught in the web of human sex trafficking.
When you view porn, you’ll never know a porn actor’s real story. The guilt of objectifying another human being as a sex slave also twists the knife of your inner shame.
And what happens when children view porn accidentally? They’re being educated about sex by a twisted view of synthetic sex. This shapes their feelings of self-worth and thwarts their future goals.
Understanding and facing the monster you’re fighting is one of the best motivations to quit porn.
3. Identify personal triggers — a vital step in quitting porn.
What upsets you the most in life? What stressors make you want to escape to the familiar comfort of porn?
Not all triggers are due to “sex in every check-out aisle,” but checkout aisles are worth a red trigger warning. So is bikini season for some — or anywhere summertime and water sports collide.
Basic emotional triggers are easy to remember if you use what psychologists call the HALT acronym: hungry, angry, lost, tired.
Triggers also include objects, places, or activities associated with porn use. Knowing what you can and can’t avoid allows you to create a strategy for success. You might even color code your porn triggers or give them a danger word.
4. Connect with a trusted friend — tell on yourself with a positive twist.
Eli Nash, in his 2019 TedX talk, publicly shared his feelings of deep shame over his compulsive porn use.
Nash says, “For a conversation to change, it needs people to share their stories… One day I got so desperate I asked for help.”
[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbYWKVAeu6Y[/embedyt]
Asking for help starts with just ONE difficult conversation — one small step toward freedom from porn.
First, take a positive approach! How about telling a friend, pastor, or family member: “Hey, I’m working on personal goals including my plan to stop watching porn. I need an accountability partner to help me be successful as I plan.”
Next, clearly ask: “Would you help me succeed?”
Instead of feeling overwhelming shame, you may feel inspired to work on your goals with an added spring in your step. Quitting porn is just one of your success goals.
“Accountability is so much more than what ‘bad people have to do’. It brings strength, relationship, victory, confidence, and freedom to life.” — Kolby, happy customer
How to stop watching porn – commit to accountability.
Why does accountability work? For men or women, porn use is isolating. Accountability takes away that secrecy. Porn has no place to hide.
5. How to stop watching porn — choose accountability and plan with your partner.
We all are tempted to quit when life gets tough.
Turning to your trusted accountability partner in a moment of struggle is so helpful.
You choose a person you trust, that you can be honest with, and who cares about your goals.
In order to succeed with an accountability partner, you also need a plan for success.
Set a time to plan together to talk about your goals.
Next, give your accountability partner a specific list of several of your personal goals — including your plan to stop watching porn. How will you handle your triggers or weak moments?
Downloading accountability software is a key success tool.
Once you’ve set this up, all of your internet activity will be visible to your chosen (and trusted) accountability partner.
Be sure to download accountability software on every single one of your devices. Our accountability software even allows your partner to create a custom list that will get flagged on your accountability report if you search these terms.
6. Rate your level of porn saturation — and leverage your accountability partner.
Is your level of porn usage mild? Moderate? Out-of-control?
From our private customer survey results we know that individuals struggle with porn on varying levels.
How to stop watching porn if you view porn weekly or monthly:
Have you created a check-in plan with your accountability partner? If not, this is a key element of accountability.
A weekly check-in after your accountability partner gets your report from your accountability app might be the level of accountability you need.
How to stop watching porn if you have a daily porn habit:
Forming a new daily habit of checking in with your accountability partner helps many. (You can reach out to support@everaccountable.com to get your reports sent daily instead of weekly.)
You’ll seriously exercise your accountability muscles — and expect to see real progress, not perfection.
How to stop watching porn multiple times a day:
There’s strength in numbers. Here’s where we suggest you may need more than one accountability partner. Also, joining a porn recovery community is key.
In fact, you might also need a sex addiction (SA) counselor. Viewing porn multiple times a day suggests a more difficult porn recovery process. Help is available, so please don’t lose hope!
7. Consider professional therapy — if you’ve rated yourself as out-of-control.
Finally, while porn addiction is not specifically listed by the American Psychiatric Association in their Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), compulsive sexual behavior disorder (CSBD) is now listed as a formal diagnosis by the World Health Organization (WHO).
CSBD falls under an impulse control disorder in WHO’s International Classification of Diseases, 11th Edition (ICD-11). That means you have more treatment options.
For example, WebMD lists symptoms of sexual addiction including:
- Sexual acts
- Prostitution
- Watching or consuming pornography
- Masturbation or sexual fantasy
- Exhibition or voyeurism
Help is available, so please don’t give up hope!
Consider some treatment options available :
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
- Psychosocial Therapy including group therapy such as Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA)
- Cutting edge treatment for depression
- Psychodynamic Therapy focused on self-awareness and your past
Due to the long-term damaging effects of porn, the sooner you get help, the sooner damage can be undone!
8. Create a daily ritual — and say it aloud as you write it down.
“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” – Benjamin Franklin.
Tell yourself out loud: planning my day is part of my goal to stop watching porn.
In fact, writing down and talking about your plans and goals aloud makes them more likely to happen. Getting rid of porn requires forming new habits.
One Lifehack.org article calls your bad habits your “kryptonites”,
“Creating your productivity ritual — a routine that helps you to maintain a peak level of energy can get you the best out of your days. Part of creating your productivity routine involves removing activities that drain you (what I call “kryptonites”), and that includes your bad habits.”
Here are more success tips from expert planners.
How to stop watching porn: create a morning routine.
“Creating a morning routine for yourself is essential to a successful life,” – Ken Brokaw
(Forbes article.)
Eric Partaker, former CEO of the Year, peak performance expert, and best-selling author of The Three Alarms says there is no one right way to start your day.
- Listen to Eric’s tips for an almost-perfect day in less than 10 minutes including a dynamic “River of Flexibility” as you create your ideal day!
- Here’s another super-streamlined example: Daily Rituals and Michael Hyatt’s Morning Routine for the busy executive type, especially.
- How about a morning routine course for moms — tailored to your different styles of busy? For women who struggle with porn, creating your own healthy routine and pattern is also vital for avoiding porn triggers.
Next, write out how you picture your ideal day.
Are your days plagued with reactivity and struggle? Do you have an agenda for your day that never gets done?
Be extremely practical first. What absolutely needs to get done on a daily basis in your life?
What important elements do you wish you were doing — like a fitness routine, and time for important relationships?
Finally, wrap up your day with a bedtime routine.
A perfect day begins with being well-rested.
If you’re used to reaching for the phone and scrolling through porn videos, think about “divorcing” your phone at bedtime.
Prep in small ways for the next morning. Lay out your clothes, fix your lunch, clean out the kitchen sink, etc…
Dealing with a super stressful day?
Plan to de-stress, perhaps by talking about it or writing in a journal.
Stress is the opposite of rest!
Some enjoy mindful relaxation techniques from online coaches like Michael Galyon, known as the “Zen Ken”.
9. List your favorite activities — pursue a natural high.
Since we don’t know what activates your personal natural highs, we’ll just practice a “stone soup” approach. Let’s throw a few delicious ideas into a general pot.
Any or all of the activities below help you break porn’s boredom trigger.
- Soak up some sunshine — good mood food!
- Get up and move in a fun, new way — try croquet or other yard games!
- Concoct something delicious — add an international flavor.
- Create something lovely — art, music, poetry, pottery, etc..
- Plant a herb garden — beautiful and useful.
- Try woodcarving — or build something with wood.
- Hike a new trail — be a curious explorer.
- Clean out your shed or closet — fresh start satisfaction.
Need more ideas to utilize the power of healthy dopamine? We’ve created a handy awesomeness list.
10. Tap into the power of community — flip the script!
“Community is never optional on the journey to freedom,” says Brad.
Porn and shame isolate you from the power of a healthy community.
So, take steps to flip the script on shame and porn!
Be inspired by TedX speaker Eli Nash — a self-proclaimed recovering porn addict — who speaks boldly about how to stop watching porn by sharing your porn struggles inside a safe community.
“My name is Eli Nash, and I am a porn addict… There’s no better feeling than turning shame upside down, smashing it upside the head, and then using it to help others.”
What could your life look like in just six months if you flipped the script on porn?
You’ll always need a plan for success no matter your life goals — especially when it comes to not watching porn.
When you create a concrete strategy to stop watching porn, you’ll find a whole new world of possibilities opening up for you.
That’s always our mission at Ever Accountable, too — helping you create an amazing life free of porn through the power of accountability and community.
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