Stigma. Shame. Silence.
Jessica Harris, who started watching porn at 13, was fearful when she finally came clean about her porn use. But the leadership at her Christian college intentionally raised the topic of female porn use, allowing young women to answer privately.
“I really wanted help and knew if they sent me home I wouldn’t have any hope left…
But instead of sending me home, Sarah said to me, ‘Jessica, what you wrote on that slip was brave, and we’re going to help you’.”
We celebrate this positive, helpful response!
In the recent past, almost no one offered help to women who struggle with porn.
But that is slowly changing as porn use among women escalates.
Women who struggle with porn are more common than you think.
According to the porn industry, which has financial motives for tracking data, by 2019 women made up 32% of their market. In other words, a minimum of 3 out of every 10 women watch porn.
Most females who consume pornography are in the 30s-and-under age bracket.
However, easy access to the internet on smartphones especially impacts Gen Z and younger. The long-term effects of porn use in this age bracket has yet to be measured.
The porn industry strategically markets to younger women.
It’s also helpful to know that if you’re a woman struggling with porn, you’ve been systematically targeted as the porn industry grows their market.
“…MindGeek, the little-known parent company … and a leading firm in the market for adult entertainment, has leveraged streaming data to not only organize and suggest content to consumers but even to shape creative decisions.”
-Kal Raustiala (UCLA School of Law), Christopher Jon Sprigman New York University School of Law; New York University (NYU) – Engelberg Center on Innovation Law & Policy
Understanding why women struggle with porn is vital.
Becoming curious about the many reasons porn tempts you is a great start. Consider just a few:
Seeking to soothe life-stressors
Both men and women look for escapes when life becomes challenging or painful. For many, porn becomes an unhealthy alternate reality. It’s free and easy to access, too.
Sexual curiosity
Natural curiosity about sex and the easy availability of porn turns it into a “how-to-manual”. Often young women don’t get the information they need about sex from their parents. Instead, they “Google search” and find porn.
Sadly, sexual violence portrayed in porn twists youth’s developing views of sex and intimacy.
“Frequently viewing a lot of pornography can influence a woman’s attitudes and beliefs toward sex, and this is associated with a number of negative effects, such as:
- Unrealistic expectations around sexual behaviors and performance.
- Reduced intimacy with real-life partners.
- Personal sense of inadequacy.
- Lowered self-esteem.”
– The American Addiction Centers (projectknow.com)
So, how do we return to – and celebrate – kind, giving, faithful love?
Women who struggle with porn need each other.
Women need a safe space to break the silence, stigma, and shame over porn use. Finding a supportive community is life-changing.
Sometimes this occurs when small group leaders have been carefully trained to reach out, just like Jessica experienced.
Other times, sexual addiction groups like Live Free Ministries or SHE Recovery empower women to break the shame-stigma-silence cycle of unwanted sexual behavior. Some may need individual therapy to overcome sexual addiction.
But in all scenarios, personal accountability with a caring, trusted partner or friend is highly effective, because you know you’re no longer alone in your struggle. We all need someone to lean on!
Together we find strength. When women support women, overcoming a porn problem becomes an opportunity to grow and reach your highest potential!
Sources/Resources
Works Cited
Harris, Jessica. “The Good Christian Girl Who Struggled With Porn.” The Grit and Grace Project, https://thegritandgraceproject.org/faith/the-good-christian-girl-who-struggled-with-porn. Accessed 10 October 2022.
UCLA -School of Law, and New York University School of Law; New York University (NYU) – Engelberg Center on Innovation Law & Policy. “The Second Digital Disruption: Streaming & the Dawn of Data-Driven Creativity.” https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3226566.
“Women with Porn Addictions.” projectknow.com, https://projectknow.com/porn-addiction/women/.
