“I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life.” — Henry David Thoreau
When you think of the good life, what comes to mind? Answers will vary. How you answer this question may depend on how healthy your gratitude muscles are, though.
Gratitude helps you suck the marrow out of life, by choosing to be thankful especially when life is hard. And it’s safe to say that many of us have been facing hard times due to economic challenges and more. Wherever you find yourself, a gratitude “reboot” is good for all!
The Essence of Gratitude
What is the essence of gratitude? When you are grateful, you acknowledge that your life is a gift that others have contributed to. Gratitude is both a conscious choice and an emotion.
A person who is truly grateful, doesn’t just mindlessly mumble “thank you” as a polite habit. True gratitude is a beautiful attitude. It’s a humble heart-awareness that other people enrich our lives. None of us can exist in a vacuum. We need each other!
In fact, a life without gratitude is a life of emotional poverty.
Practicing gratitude empowers you to reach your goals and quit porn faster! Why? Because gratitude is physically, mentally, and emotionally good for you – and research proves it! As a bonus, we’ve five easy ways to practice gratitude today.
10 Ways Gratitude Empowers You To Reach Your Goals {And Quit Porn Faster}
1. Gratitude helps you connect with others.
How often do you actually say a meaningful thank you to someone? On a daily basis? What if changing this one thing could super-charge your day — and someone else’s?
When you reach out to say thank you, connecting with others becomes natural. Now, more than ever, we’re craving this human connection.
Consider giving an old-fashioned hand-written thank you note, too. Even the act of writing a physical thank-you note breaks isolation and the self-focus of a porn habit.
2. Gratitude rewires your brain to be healthier and happier.
When you’re happy and healthy, it’s genuinely easier to accomplish goals. One study group consisting of people struggling with depression and anxiety agreed to a “gratitude writing intervention”.
For those who participated, improvements in the medial prefrontal cortex of the brain were still visible three months later!
The medial prefrontal cortex is the area of the brain responsible for long-term decision making and goal-setting. So if you’re stimulating positive responses, that will go a long way.
The reward center of the brain also benefits from feelings of gratitude which stimulate the release of a “shot of dopamine” naturally – but not excessively. Learn how porn also affects the reward center of the brain but in a negative way.
3. Gratitude reminds you to not sweat the small stuff.
When the little things in life go wrong, it’s normal to grumble or let off steam. But when you pause and take a moment to reframe your circumstances, gratitude works wonders!
Whether you’re frustrated by working overtime to pay off student loans or by stepping on a Lego barefoot in the dark, a grateful heart reminds you to be thankful for the job or for your little child who left out the Legos.
One sweet example of this is the story of the Dad who never failed to compliment his wife’s cooking.
After his mom burnt the toast again, the son asked his father why he said thank you for the burnt toast that day. “Why, son, even burnt toast tastes good when it’s served with love. I’ve never doubted that your mother loves me.”
4. Gratitude empowers you to accomplish your goals.
Who has inspired you? Who has invested in your life? When you stop and gratefully remember those people, quitting becomes less of an option.
You may need to pivot your goals, but you’ll dust yourself off and keep going!
One inspiring example of gratitude as a powerful motivator is Helen Keller. Born healthy in 1880, a terrible disease made little Helen profoundly deaf and blind at 19 months old. Trapped and unable to communicate, Helen’s angry, wild behavior drove her parents to the brink of despair.
In 1887, Helen’s life changed miraculously when her father hired a new tutor named Annie Sullivan.
Through Ms. Sullivan’s caring, patient, and innovative methods, Helen learned to read Braille, write, and even to speak.
With Ms. Sullivan, fondly known as “Teacher” by her side, Helen attended Radcliffe College. Helen was the first deaf-blind person to graduate from college in 1904, cum laude no less.
In fact, Helen Keller became one of the most traveled, influential, and interesting people in the 19th century according to Mark Twain. She encouraged millions of disabled people, working for the American Foundation for the Blind for more than 40 years.
Here’s one of Helen’s grateful tributes to Ms. Sullivan:
“My teacher is so near to me that I scarcely think of myself apart from her. How much of my delight in all beautiful things is innate, and how much is due to her influence, I can never tell…All the best of me belongs to her--there is not a talent, or an aspiration or a joy in me that has not been awakened by her loving touch.” — Helen Keller, The Story of My Life
If Helen could reach her goals because of love and gratitude for her beloved Teacher, you can, too!
Is one of your goals quitting porn in the upcoming year? Check out our post on how to quit porn.
5. Gratitude encourages your accountability partners and other mentors.
If you are being encouraged in your journey to quit porn by an accountability partner, your regular grateful “thanks” is a huge motivator to your partner as well.
Taking time for heartfelt thanks benefits everyone involved — the grateful giver and the encouraged receiver.
Even encouragers need encouragement!
6. Gratitude helps you sleep better.
The Reward Foundation, an educational charity that studies the science of love and sex notes a basic mental effect of too much gaming or using internet porn: “People end up ‘wired and tired’ and unable to concentrate on work the next day.“
According to studies from neuroscience,“Gratitude activates the hypothalamus as well, with downstream effects on metabolism, stress, and various behaviors. (5) The hypothalamus is located at the base of the brain and regulates hormones responsible for many critical functions, such as body temperature, emotional responses, and survival functions like appetite and sleep.”
Since turning to porn is often an escape mechanism causing loss of sleep, intentionally turning to gratitude could be a game-changer for some. Count good gifts instead of sheep!
7. Gratitude enables you to work through grief, loss, and trauma.
When I first put my ideas down, this point flowed naturally from my personal experience, but I researched this to be certain. I was not surprised, though, to discover that there’s a host of evidence for the healing power of gratitude over time.
Remembering and being grateful for every beautiful moment with a loved one is helpful. A regular practice of gratitude also has been a proven help for veterans or trauma victims suffering from post traumatic stress disorder.
Does gratitude make light of your loss or pain? No! Feeling both deep grief and gratitude are actually healthy emotions as Joseph Burgo, PhD notes in Psychology Today.
“The ability to feel profound grief and gratitude, I believe, are the hallmarks of mental health…Can you grieve for the damage that you’ll never completely transcend but at the same time feel grateful for the actual good in your life?”
8. Gratitude breeds more gratitude.
Gratitude is contagious.
Want to be the change-maker in your home or workplace? We double-dog dare you to express gratitude with a warm smile frequently! Then take notes of the responses.
A gratitude dare can be really, really fun!
9. Gratitude teaches you to value people more than things.
While the saying, “the best things in life are not things” seems like a worn-out cliche, many of us have someone in our life who has stuck by our side through thick and thin.
That kind of love is priceless!
Remember the child’s story of the Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams? If not, enjoy this favorite quote of mine:
“Generally, by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
10. Gratitude keeps hope alive.
When you’re truly grateful, you benefit from remembering what truly matters in life. So, when life seems like it’s falling apart at the very seams, gratitude shifts your focus away from the unraveling threads.
Dr. Margie Warrell, writing about gratitude for Forbes magazine, shares this about her 86 year old dad whom she describes as radiantly joyful:
“My father never owned a pair of shoes until he was 12, left school at sixteen and spent nearly 50 years milking cows, morning and night.
Dad lost his youngest son—my brother Peter—to mental illness and supported his oldest son—my brother Frank—to readjusting to life in a wheelchair when an accident left him with paraplegia.Now at 86, he’s buried most of his friends. Yet dad would happily tell you that he feels like the richest man in all the world. Needless to say, when he speaks of being rich, he’s not referring to his stock portfolio (never had one), but to the wealth of love in his life.”
Gratitude reminds you that Life Is Beautiful, even during terrible times like the Holocaust as the 1997 Italian movie portrays.
In this story, an Italian Jew named Guido finds ways to bring joy to his family and his young son, even in a Nazi concentration camp.
“Gratitude takes nothing for granted. It shines a spotlight on all that is good, amplifying its presence, and reframing your ‘problems’ through a larger lens that liberates you to respond more constructively, less resentfully.” — Dr. Margie Warrell
In the end, reaching a goal like quitting porn involves fueling hope that feeds your desire and determination to improve the quality of your life. Cultivating gratitude keeps the spark of hope alive when you’ve experienced set-backs.
Bonus: If you’re religious, gratitude reminds you of the good, good Giver of all gifts.
We welcome customers and readers of differing traditions from around the globe. As we celebrate our American Thanksgiving holiday, though, we gratefully remember a band of plucky pilgrims from our history. Seeking a new life, about 102 people sailed from England, landing in 1620 in what is now known as Plymouth, Massachusetts.
Only 53 people survived sickness, bitter cold, and starvation to see their first harvest in 1621.
Together with 90-plus native Americans, they gave thanks to God, feasting and celebrating for three days — the first “official” Thanksgiving.
Their governor William Bradford wrote about this in his record Of Plimoth Plantation if you’d like to read his account.
5 Easy Ways To Cultivate Gratitude In Your Daily Life
1. Start a gratitude list.
Popular writer Ann Voskamp highlights this in her book One Thousand Gifts — A Dare To Live Fully Right Where You Are. It’s easy to have good intentions and not follow through. How about making Ann’s initial goal your own — gradually create a list of 1,000 reasons that you’re personally grateful?
The good news is that you can choose to be grateful for the smallest of good things:
…hugs from friends
…a beautiful feather
…the sunlight filtering through golden autumn leaves
…a dog’s toothy grin
…the flavor of your favorite beverage
Every single grateful moment counts! So go ahead and get started.
2. Schedule a moment of gratitude on your calendar.
Sometimes we get so busy, it feels like we barely have time to breathe! Scheduling gratitude moments is a way to overcome this. We tend to schedule things we think are important!
What counts as a gratitude moment? Just saying, “Thank You!” out loud is a start.
3. Choose to thank someone every single day.
If you schedule gratitude on your calendar, make a note to self, also, to actually thank someone in person.
You could thank your child for doing a chore.
Remembering to thank your spouse for their specific contributions — or simply for being a wonderful human — is another big domestic win.
Showing gratitude to your partner is also a powerful way to rebuild trust and intimacy while fighting against porn.
4. Thank those who have thankless jobs.
People who make the world run smoothly, but don’t have a high pay-grade are especially liable to be forgotten. Thanking them sincerely not only brightens their day, it helps you become a more emotionally intelligent person.
Garbage collectors, mail or package delivery carriers, cashiers, front-desk receptionists, janitors and maids, factory employees, and customer service representatives are just a few of those who should make this list.
We want to live in a world that values the contributions of others, small and great! Showing gratitude expresses to others their value and worth.
5. Create a shared gratitude jar.
Unless you live alone, this is a beautiful, easy way to cultivate a habit of gratefulness. If you have a jar, a pencil, and some paper scraps, you’re in business. At some point — during a family gathering — Thanksgiving or not, empty the jar and take turns reading the gratitude notes out loud.
Middle schoolers and highschoolers can be notoriously hard on themselves and others around them. A creative teacher I knew asked her students to write down something positive that they were grateful for about another student.
This exercise snowballed into each one trying to outdo the other. In the end, the students received a copy of the good things that were written about them. Priceless!
If your family has trouble with this exercise, perhaps you can model this by writing a note of gratitude about each of them first.
Then up the challenge, and ask for as many reasons as they can think of for being thankful for each other.
not on your past misfortunes
of which all men have some.”
– Charles Dickens
Conclusion
In conclusion, what if you could create a Thanksgiving blizzard of gratitude?
From Harvard researchers to therapists or ordinary people, the evidence clearly demonstrates that gratitude empowers you and enriches those around you. We believe that practicing gratitude empowers you to quit porn, too!
Maybe you’ve hit a rough patch in life. Or like many, the holiday season triggers difficult memories for you. Some gentle moments of gratitude might be just what the doctor ordered!
We’re deeply grateful for the powerful, positive stories of our customers who are reaching their goals to quit porn. So many of you have stopped by to give us a positive Google review as well!
You’re so brave and beautiful! Thank you for sharing your journey to accountability and freedom from porn with us.
