If you’re here looking for porn addiction help, you’ve taken a powerful positive step.
“Healing is within reach,” promises Terry Crews, who recently posted publicly celebrating his 14 year anniversary of being in recovery from his porn and sex addiction.
“If you’re struggling, know this: you are not alone, and healing is within reach. There’s a path forward, no matter how dark things might seem. Recovery is real. It’s hard work, but it’s worth every step. Reach out. Find your support. Take that first step.” – Terry Crews
We’re here to help you take the next proven steps toward recovery. You’ll find educational, proven resources, tips, and tools to help you quit porn and start loving your life again.
What is porn addiction - understanding it better
First we need to talk about the bad news. Porn isn’t always so easy to quit.
What is porn addiction?
Porn users often label themselves as addicted, especially if they’ve tried and failed to quit porn repeatedly. Any compulsive behavior that continues in spite of negative consequences could be considered a potential addiction.
Now some researchers are beginning to consider compulsive porn use as a type of behavioral addiction.
The effects of porn addiction
You may be seeking porn addiction help because you’re finding porn use has damaged your closest relationships. If your spouse or significant other considers porn use cheating, well, that’s added motivation! Often porn steals your sexual dissatisfaction and your loss of libido affects your partner negatively, too.
Or, maybe you’re tired of being depressed and wasting hours watching porn as your life drifts away? Did you know that depression and lack of motivation are common side effects of porn addiction?
If you’re a teenager who’s struggling with porn, you should know porn use teaches you dangerous ideas about sex. Plus, porn hijacks your brain development.
The science of addiction
While some debate the term “porn addiction”, being unable to quit porn is one sure sign of trouble. At this point, you may wake up and wonder how to stop watching porn, since you can’t seem to quit! There’s a simple reason why.
Porn excites the brain’s reward centers, releasing a super-normal amount of dopamine and other pleasurable chemicals.
Hebb’s rule says that brain “neurons that fire together wire together”. Repeated porn use creates brain ruts. After all, repetition is how both positive and negative habits are formed.
Porn use also disrupts the prefrontal cortex – dulling the decision making, impulse control portion of your brain.
However, thanks to neuroplasticity, rewiring your amazing brain IS possible with time, patience, support, and hard work.
7 positive steps to recovery
Again, Terry Crews offers some powerful, hard-won wisdom:
“Recovery isn’t just a word – it’s a way of life.
It’s a commitment to reclaim what was lost, to heal from what was stolen, and to discover parts of myself I never knew were there.
Recovery is an ongoing process, a constant renewal where I’m always getting my life back on track, one day at a time.”
Wondering how to quit porn and get your life back on track? Here are the basic steps you can’t skip!
Step 1: Acknowledge the problem.
Half the battle is admitting to yourself and others that you have a pornography problem. Taking responsibility for what you can change is powerful. Only YOU can change YOU. You can’t be committed to a change you’ve never admitted you need. However, willpower simply isn’t enough.
Step 2: Ask a trusted person for support and help.
Steps one and two set the whole tone for your success.
Core truth: if you humbly ask someone for help, you will 10x your recovery!
But if you try to get around this step, you’re setting yourself up for failure, says Dr. Doug Weiss, former porn and sex addict, “We’re so determined that we’re gonna do it in our own strength sometimes, that it can take decades before we really admit that we can’t do it!”
Step 3: Put up effective online boundaries around porn
You wouldn’t take your recovering alcoholic friend into a bar – or even to drink around them, right?
Many former porn addicts describe their unmonitored smartphone like a “bottle of alcohol in your pocket.” It’s totally unrealistic to let yourself access any online device without effective barriers to online porn.
That’s why online porn accountability apps like Ever Accountable are so helpful and effective. Knowing someone will see that you’ve watched porn is a powerful motivation.
So powerful, in fact, that 95% says when they downloaded our accountability app, their porn use dropped drastically in the first 30 days.
Step 4: Make a porn recovery plan.
Set clear goals, and write down specific ways to meet those goals. Meeting with your accountability partner to help plan and gain an outside perspective is a huge plus. He/she can help you prepare for bumps in the road.
Step 5: Identify and remove porn triggers.
Each person’s plan will look a little different, but first everyone must know why they turn to porn.
Dr. Brian Willoughby, family and sex therapist, helps you understand four basic trigger areas: emotional, psychological, attraction, and behavioral.
Then you can evaluate yourself using this porn addiction trigger quiz.
Step 6: Get advice and additional support in a porn recovery community
If you’re reading this, but you can’t figure out who to ask for help, there is a solution! Porn recovery communities can be an incredible place to find support and a potential accountability partner. Inside this group, listen and ask questions.
Before long, you’ll see who is further along on the porn recovery road. Then you can ask for help. Often you’ll be surprised at how willing someone else will be to help you.
Step 7: Seek professional help.
Learning how to stop porn addiction is worth investing in professional help. Willpower alone won’t work. Sometimes even the support of a trusted friend or accountability partner won’t be enough.
There’s no shame in needing additional help, especially if you have experienced past trauma, neglect, and abuse. Some insurances will even cover mental health services.
Also, companies like VeryWellMind now offer more reasonably priced and accessible professional therapists online. Investing in yourself is one of the most important decisions you can make, because the long-term consequences of not quitting porn can ruin the rest of your life.
Why quit porn
Over time, porn use can cost you everything good and beautiful in your life, turning you into a shadow of the person you could become. Long-term negative consequences of porn addiction include:
- Loss of trust in relationships
- Intimacy anorexia
- Erectile dysfunction and sexual dissatisfaction
- Poor self-image
- Loss of motivation to reach for goals
- Depression and anxiety
- Higher potential for divorce
There’s no growth without stepping out of your comfort zone. But writing down the long-term rewards of quitting porn is powerful motivation to face some immediate pain.
10 top benefits of quitting porn
While we describe the benefits of quitting porn in-depth here, check out this quick list for inspiration and motivation.
- Become a person of honesty and integrity. (Thanks, Terry, and many others!)
- Rebuild your relationships one step at a time.
- Empower yourself by taking ownership and responsibility.
- Improve your self-esteem.
- Grow in self-awareness.
- Regain trust from others.
- Enjoy greater personal productivity.
- Repurpose pain as you develop “shame-resilience.”
- Gain clarity and motivation to pursue life goals.
- Leave a legacy – be the change you want to see.
What if you (or someone you love) have a relapse?
Two steps forward. One step back. Expecting progress – with setbacks – is normal.
Addictions don’t heal overnight: “in sex and pornography addictions too there can be craving and withdrawal symptoms such as anxiety, irritability, insomnia, fatigue, and low mood due to malfunctioning stress systems.” ~ Journal of Psychosexual Health
Instead of being so hard on yourself, or someone you love, speak truth kindly after a porn relapse. Try saying:
- “I’ve made progress, and I can keep improving, as long as I don’t quit!”
- “Real love is worth the effort. I’m doing this because I love myself, and I love my family.”
- “Look at failure as a learning opportunity. What do you think led to this setback?”
- “What can you do differently next time?”
- “I’m not a bad person. Porn is bad.”
Like changing a dirty bandage on a wound, you need a fresh start. After a porn relapse, you should immediately reach out to your accountability partner for a conversation.
Another key to defeating a porn relapse is to have your accountability partner check in again in the crucial 48 hour window, notes Dr. Brian Willoughby.
Managing porn triggers
In order to achieve real change, you need to rewire brain ruts created by turning to porn use to deal with stress and trauma.
Life is unavoidably hard at times. So trying different tools to deal with negativity in your life head-on helps you defeat triggers to porn use.
Journaling /Affirmations
No fancy tools needed. Just a pen and a notebook.
Writing down your story or even the struggles of daily life is a proven way to release stress.
It’s equally important to change up the negative talk in your head. Here’s a helpful guide to creating and using positive affirmations.
Breathing exercises
Breathing exercises are so helpful in the heat of a triggered moment, that we included them in our online porn recovery course, Ascend.
Here’s one example of box breathing which helps you calm yourself and refocus.
Talk therapy
Everyone needs someone caring who will listen to them without judgment.
“At its core, talk therapy, or psychotherapy, allows a person to discuss their concerns, goals, and challenges with a person who holds no biases and no judgments.” ~ Medical News Today
Diet and exercise
With any addiction recovery, a whole-body approach will boost your success in quitting a porn addiction. You may be physically run-down due to inner stress. Create a list of your current nutrition and exercise habits, then check the next step below!
Personal development
Brain fog is a common side effect of porn addiction.
As you “take out the trash” in your mind, you need to replace it with good things. Here are a few ideas:
- Listen to podcasts on success, personal growth, health, and wellness
- Try online classes to grow your skills
- Pursue new hobbies
Reaching for new goals and new horizons builds resilience and hope that you can actually learn how to quit a porn addiction, too.
How the brain heals from addiction
Watching violence and supernormal stimuli in porn is like living in a virtual war zone. War and trauma stunt art and creativity.
To heal, your brain needs time and space with zero “threat of war” to heal.
How long does it take to recover and heal from porn addiction? This will differ greatly depending on how long you’ve been hooked and how much and what types of porn you’ve consumed.
The brain rewiring process takes time and persistent effort.
You must commit to the process we’ve outlined – relying on support and accountability – not just willpower.
Over years of listening to our community of accountability app users, we’ve discovered that people of ALL ages and life experiences have successfully quit porn. If others can learn how to quit a porn addiction, you can too!
The 30-day Challenge for Recovery
Again and again, we hear this theme: Don’t give up. Don’t quit! If you keep going, you will succeed.
To help you get started, we’re offering 30 days of actionable steps
30 Day Porn Recovery Challenge
Download this, print it, and share it with your accountability partners. Start taking positive steps forward today.
Resources to help
Porn recovery tips and information: Educate yourself on the process of porn recovery and the harms of porn. Includes tips for parents.
Online accountability app: 95% of our customers say their porn use is drastically reduced after downloading Ever Accountable.
Porn Recovery Bundle: 1 year of our accountability app, Ascend online porn recovery course, online porn recovery community app (3 months free)
Betrayal trauma recovery support: online support for wives hurt by their partner’s pornography use
Best books on porn recovery: (a growing list updated regularly)
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